Writing Part 2 - Proposal
You attend a college that has many international students. You feel that the college website does not do enough to support new international students. You decide to write a proposal to the College Principal, explaining how the college website could be improved to help these students.
In your proposal, outline what extra information or advice you would include on the website, and explain how this might help international students make the most of their time at the college. Write your proposal in 220-260 words
This is a real student's essay that scored 19/20🏅 in the exam 😀
Sample Answer
Proposal for a revamp of the college website
Introduction
First of all, this proposal is directed to the college principal. It has come to my attention that in this university there is a several amount of students that come from abroad, which means that some of them do not speak our language perfectly and may find difficult to find information about what they are studying. This issue could be solved by improving the college website, and in this document I will suggest some ways of doing this.
How the college website could be improved
Some students consider that the website does not get enough attention and that it needs to be updated so that new pupils can feel comfortable and informed in the college. A good step to take would be to translate the site to different languages in order to make foreign students that have not managed to learn our tongue yet to understand it. Also, a special part of the website only for international students could be created.
Special part of the website
In this new section, a guide with the things to do in the university or a map of the building for those who are more lost could be included. In addition, local students could participate by writing an advice to the foreigners about the city, the university or perhaps tips about the language, then, the best ones would be posted in this part of the site.
Benefits to international students
Most international students feel lost when they first arrive to the college, which makes me think that maybe something could be improved, and I think the best way to address them is by using the website. These students could feel more embraced by the institution they learn in if we were to change the college web, making it look much more attractive for them.
Conclusion
I really hope you read this proposal, not only would I be grateful, but also every foreign student that attends this college. I consider that the ideas I have developed are worth of taking seriously, because this could mean a great benefit to our university. Should we give good attention to international learners, more people would become interested in joining the college.
WHY is this answer good?
Content: 4/5
Content focuses on how well the candidate has completed the different parts of the task, in other words if they have done all they were asked to do.
- Have they included all the points in the question?
- Is everything RELEVANT to the question?
- Is the reader fully INFORMED?
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Communicative Achievement
Now you will see the same sample answer again. This time, click on the four parts that gave the student points for Communicative Achievement.There are two which are not relevant to this category.
- The Communicative Achievement category
focuses on:
- How appropriate the writing is for the task, in this case an essay
- If the candidate has used the appropriate register
- If he or she communicates simple and complex ideas well
- If the essay holds your interest
COMMUNICATIVE ACHIEVEMENT 5/5
Click the four parts of the text that gave the student points for
Communicative Achievement
- How appropriate is the writing is for an essay?
- Is the register (tone) appropriate for an essay ?
- Do they communicate simple and complex ideas well?
- Does it hold your interest?
Completion
You have completed all tasks.
ORGANISATION 5/5
Click the six parts of the text that gave the student points for Organisation
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Language
Click the six parts of the text that gave the student points for LANGUAGE
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Find the mistakes
Click the four parts of the text that are MISTAKES
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